tribute: Mort

dat/tribute

@@ -800,11 +800,260 @@ shelves, but not to prevent them being stolen....
 #
 #
 #
-%title Mort (1)
+%title Mort (11)
+# p. 136 (Signet edition; passage is a footnote;
+#         Vetinari doesn't show up as recurring Patrician until /Sourcery/)
 %passage 1
-Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and hand ended up
+Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up
- with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was
+with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote.  The Patrician was
-the Man; he had the Vote. 
+the Man; he had the Vote.
+
+  [Mort, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 11
+%passage 2
+Mort was getting interested in the rock.  It had curly shells in it, relics
+of the early days of the world when the Creator had made creatures out of
+stone, no-one knew why.
+
+Mort was interested in lots of things.  Why people's teeth fitted together
+so neatly, for example.  He'd given that one a lot of thought.  Then there
+was the puzzle of why the sun came out during the day, instead of at night
+when the light would come in useful.  He knew the standard explanation,
+which somehow didn't seem satisfying.
+
+In short, Mort is one of those people who are more dangerous than a bag
+full of rattlesnakes.  He was determined to discover the underlying logic
+behind the universe.
+
+Which was going to be hard, because there wasn't one.  The Creator had a
+lot of remarkably good ideas when he put the world together, but making it
+understandable hadn't been one of them.
+
+  [Mort, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 18
+%passage 3
+"But you're Death," said Mort.  "You go around killing people!"
+
+I?  KILL? said Death, obviously offended.  CERTAINLY NOT.  PEOPLE /GET/
+KILLED, BUT THAT'S THEIR BUSINESS.  I JUST TAKE OVER FROM THEN ON.  AFTER
+ALL, IT'D BE A BLOODY STUPID WORLD IF PEOPLE GOT KILLED WITHOUT DYING,
+WOULDN'T IT?
+
+  [Mort, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 25
+%passage 4
+"Is it magic?" said Mort.
+
+WHAT DO YOU THINK? said Death.  AM I REALLY HERE, BOY?
+
+"Yes," said Mort slowly.  "I... I've watched people.  They look at you but
+the don't see you, I think.  You do something to their minds."
+
+Death shook his head.
+
+THEY DO IT ALL THEMSELVES, he said.  THERE'S NO MAGIC.  PEOPLE CAN'T SEE ME,
+THEY SIMPLY WON'T ALLOW THEMSELVES TO DO IT.  UNTIL IT'S TIME, OF COURSE.
+WIZARDS CAN SEE ME, AND CATS.  BUT YOUR AVERAGE HUMAN... NO, NEVER.  He blew
+a smoke ring at the sky, and added, STRANGE BUT TRUE.
+
+  [Mort, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# pp. 48-49 (Binky is Death's white horse, who was left 'parked' on a
+#            castle's roof; Mort is Death's novice apprentice)
+%passage 5
+They were on the roof before he spoke again.
+
+YOU TRIED TO WARN HIM, he said, removing Binky's nosebag.
+
+"Yes, sir.  Sorry."
+
+YOU CANNOT INTERFERE WITH FATE.  WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE WHO SHOULD LIVE AND
+WHO SHOULD DIE?
+
+Death watched Mort's expression carefully.
+
+ONLY THE GODS ARE ALLOWED TO DO THAT, he added.  TO TINKER WITH THE FATE OF
+EVEN ONE INDIVIDUAL COULD DESTROY THE WHOLE WORLD.  DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
+
+Mort nodded miserably.
+
+"Are you going to send me home?" he said.
+
+Death reached down and swung him up behind the saddle.
+
+BECAUSE YOU SHOWED COMPASSION?  NO.  I MIGHT HAVE DONE IF YOU HAD SHOWN
+PLEASURE.  BUT YOU MUST LEARN THE COMPASSION PROPER TO YOUR TRADE.
+
+"What's that?"
+
+A /SHARP/ EDGE.
+
+  [Mort, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# pp. 59-61 (in Ankh-Morpork, Mort has accidentally walked through a wall
+#            into an immigrant Klatchian family's dining room; 'the creature
+#            who was not there' refers to Death during an earlier event)
+%passage 6
+"I'm no demon!  I'm a human!" he said, and stopped in shock as his words
+emerged in perfect Klatch.
+
+"You're a thief?" said the father.  "A murderer?  To creep in thus, are you
+a /tax-gatherer/?"  His hand slipped under the table and came up holding a
+meat cleaver honed to paper thinness.  His wife screamed and dropped the
+plate and clutched the youngest children to her.
+
+Mort watched the blade weave through the air, and gave in.
+
+"I bring you greetings from the uttermost circles of hell," he hazarded.
+
+The change was remarkable.  The cleaver was lowered and the family broke
+into broad smiles.
+
+"There is much luck to us if a demon visits," beamed the father.  "What is
+your wish, O foul spawn of Offler's loins?"
+
+"Sorry?" said Mort.
+
+"A demon brings blessing and good fortune on the man that helps it," said
+the man.  "How may we be of assistance, O evil dogsbreath of the nether
+pit?"
+
+"Well, I'm not very hungry," said Mort, "but if you know where I can get a
+fast horse, I could be in Sto Lat before sunset."
+
+The man beamed and bowed.  "I know the very place, noxious extrusion of the
+bowels, if you would be so good as to follow me."
+
+Mort hurried out after him.  The ancient ancestor watched them go with a
+critical expression, its jowls rhymically chewing.
+
+"That was what they call a demon around here?" it said.  "Offler rot this
+country of dampness, even their demons are third-rate, not a patch on the
+demons we had in the Old Country."
+
+The wife placed a small bowl of rice in the folded middle pair of hands of
+the Offler statue (it would be gone in the morning) and stood back.
+
+"Husband did say that last month at the /Curry Gardens/ he served a creature
+who was not there," she said.  "He was impressed."
+
+Ten minutes later the man returned and, in solemn silence, placed a small
+heap of gold coins on the table.  They represented enough wealth to
+purchase quite a large part of the city.
+
+"He had a bag of them," he said.
+
+The family stared at the money for some time.  The wife sighed.
+
+"Riches bring many problems," she said.  "What are we to do?"
+
+"We return to Klatch," said the husband firmly, "where our children can grow
+up in a proper country, true to the glorious traditions of our ancient race
+and men do not need to work as waiters for wicked masters but can stand tall
+and proud.  And we must leave right now, fragrant blossom of the date palm."
+
+"Why so soon, O hard-working son of the desert?"
+
+"Because," said the man, "I have just sold the Patrician's champion
+racehorse."
+
+  [Mort, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 139-140 (passage ends mid-sentence)
+%passage 7
+"You don't know much about monarchy, do you?" said Keli.
+
+"Um, no?"
+
+"She means better to be a dead queen in your own castle than a live
+commoner somewhere else," said Cutwell, [...]
+
+  [Mort, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 158
+%passage 8
+"You mean you won't help?" said Mort.  "Not even if you can?"
+
+"Give the boy a prize," growled Albert.  "And it's no good thinking you can
+appeal to my better nature under this here crusty exterior," he added,
+"'cos my interior's pretty damn crusty too."
+
+  [Mort, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 159-160 (Death has come to an employment agency--a new concept in
+#             Ankh-Morpork--looking for a job)
+%passage 9
+"And what was your previous position?"
+
+I BEG YOUR PARDON?
+
+"What did you do for a living?" said the thin young man behind the desk.
+
+I USHERED SOULS INTO THE NEXT WORLD.  I WAS THE GRAVE OF ALL HOPE.  I WAS
+THE ULTIMATE REALITY.  I WAS THE ASSASSIN AGAINST WHOM NO LOCK WOULD HOLD.
+
+"Yes, point taken, but do you have any particular skills?"
+
+I SUPPOSE A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF EXPERTISE WITH AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS? he
+ventured after a while.
+
+The young man shook his head firmly.
+
+NO?
+
+  [Mort, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 205
+%passage 10
+Death raised his skull and sniffed the air.
+
+The sound cut through all the other noises in the hall and forced them
+into silence.
+
+It is the kind of noise that is heard on the twilight edges of dreams,
+the sort that you wake from in the cold sweat of mortal horror.  It was
+the snuffling under the door of dread.  It was like the snuffling of a
+hedgehog, but if so then it was the kind of hedgehog that crashes out of
+the verges and flattens lorries.  It was the kind of noise you wouldn't
+want to hear twice; you wouldn't want to hear it /once/.
+
+  [Mort, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 207
+%passage 11
+"Well, that was a lesson to all of us," the bursar continued, brushing dust
+and candle wax off his robe.  He looked up, expecting to see the statue of
+Alberto Malich back on its pedestal.
+
+"Clearly even statues have feelings," he said.  "I myself recall, when I
+was but a first-year student, writing my name on his... well, never mind.
+The point is, I propose here and now we replace the statue."
+
+Dead silence greeted this suggestion.
+
+"With, say, an exact likeness cast in gold.  Suitably embellished with
+jewels, as befits our great founder," he went on brightly.
+
+"And to make sure no students deface it in any way I suggest we then erect
+it in the deepest cellar," he continued.
+
+"And then lock the door," he added.  Several wizards began to cheer up.
+
+"And throw away the key?" said Rincewind.
+
+"And /weld/ the door," the bursar said.  He had just remembered about The
+Mended Drum.  He thought for a while and remembered about the physical
+fitness regime as well.
+
+"And then brick up the doorway," he said.  There was a round of applause.
+
+"And throw away the brick layer!" chortled Rincewind, who felt he was
+getting the hang of this.
+
+The bursar scowled at him.  "No need to get carried away," he said.
 
   [Mort, by Terry Pratchett]
 %e passage
@@ -6390,7 +6639,7 @@ IF YOU ASK ME, said Death, NOBODY COULD DO ANY BETTER THAN THAT...
 # Used for interaction with Death.
 #
 %section Death
-%title Death Quotes (17)
+%title Death Quotes (19)
 %passage 1
 WHERE THE FIRST PRIMAL CELL WAS, THERE WAS I ALSO. WHERE MAN IS, THERE AM I.  WHEN THE LAST LIFE CRAWLS UNDER FREEZING STARS, THERE WILL I BE.
 %e passage
@@ -6443,7 +6692,8 @@ I HAVE COME FOR THEE.
 #                             including them here wouldn't fit with the rest)
 %passage 14
 DARK IN HERE, ISN'T IT?
-# p. 14 (Equal Rites; 2nd sentence continues 'said the deep, heavy voice...')
+# Equal Rites, p. 14 (Signet edition; second sentence continues
+#                     'said the deep, heavy voice...')
 %passage 15
 THERE IS NO GOING BACK.  THERE IS NO GOING BACK.
 # p. 15 (contradicts later descriptions of Death as existing outside of time;
@@ -6453,6 +6703,12 @@ I HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY, YOU KNOW.
 # p. 15 (same page)
 %passage 17
 LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING.
+# Mort, p. 148 (Signet edition)
+%passage 18
+NO-ONE EVER WANTED TO TALK TO ME BEFORE.
+# p. 149
+%passage 19
+I HAVEN'T GOT A SINGLE FRIEND.  EVEN CATS FIND ME AMUSING.
 %e title
 %e section
 #