From e832da49ec369d955d4c3fc3f0a6e6ad49729116 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: PatR Date: Thu, 2 Jul 2015 18:58:01 -0700 Subject: [PATCH] epitaph punctuation Clean up some of the epitaphs. Mostly to always use two spaces when separating sentences. A lot of them have terminating punctuation, and a lot of them don't. I mostly left those alone; should they be made consistent? --- dat/epitaph.txt | 66 ++++++++++++++++++++++++------------------------- 1 file changed, 33 insertions(+), 33 deletions(-) diff --git a/dat/epitaph.txt b/dat/epitaph.txt index 58bb62228..39d9f9b6c 100644 --- a/dat/epitaph.txt +++ b/dat/epitaph.txt @@ -11,10 +11,10 @@ We weren't sure who this was, but we buried him here anyway Sparky -- he was a very good dog Beware of Electric Third Rail Made in Taiwan -Og friend. Og good dude. Og died. Og now food +Og friend. Og good dude. Og died. Og now food. Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Look out below! -Please don't dig me up. I'm perfectly happy down here. -- Resident +Please don't dig me up. I'm perfectly happy down here. -- Resident Postman, please note forwarding address: Gehennom, Asmodeus's Fortress, fifth lemure on the left Mary had a little lamb/Its fleece was white as snow/When Mary was in trouble/The lamb was first to go Be careful, or this could happen to you! @@ -24,11 +24,11 @@ Sum quod eris Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go Here lies Ezekiel, age 102. The good die young. Here lies my wife: Here let her lie! Now she's at rest and so am I. -Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon me for not rising. +Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon me for not rising. He always lied while on the earth and now he's lying in it I made an ash of myself -Soon ripe. Soon rotten. Soon gone. But not forgotten. -Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. +Soon ripe. Soon rotten. Soon gone. But not forgotten. +Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. Go away! Alas fair Death, 'twas missed in life - some peace and quiet from my wife Applaud, my friends, the comedy is finished. @@ -57,7 +57,7 @@ Here lies a programmer. Killed by a fatal error. Here lies Bob - decided to try an acid blob Here lies Dudley, killed by another %&#@#& newt. Here lies Gregg, choked on an egg -Here lies Lies. It's True +Here lies Lies. It's True. Here lies The Lady's maid, died of a Vorpal Blade Here lies the left foot of Jack, killed by a land mine. Let us know if you find any more of him He waited too long @@ -143,12 +143,12 @@ Auri sacra fames Auribus teneo lupum Be prepared Beauty survives -Been Here. Now Gone. Had a Good Time. +Been Here. Now Gone. Had a Good Time. Been through Hell, eh? What did you bring me? Beg your pardon, didn't recognize you, I've changed a lot. Being dead builds character Beloved daughter, a treasure, buried here. -Best friends come and go... Mine just die. +Best friends come and go.... Mine just die. Better be dead than a fat slave Better luck next time Beware of Discordians bearing answers @@ -177,7 +177,7 @@ Coffin for sale. Lifetime guarantee. Come Monday, I'll be all right. Come and see the violence inherent in the system Come back here! I'll bite your bloody knees off! -Commodore Business Machines, Inc. Died for our sins. +Commodore Business Machines, Inc. Died for our sins. Complain to one who can help you Confess my sins to god? Which one? Confusion will be my epitaph @@ -195,7 +195,7 @@ Cut to fit De'Ath Dead Again? Pardon me for not getting it right the first time! Dead and loving every moment! -Dear wife of mine. Died of a broken heart, after I took it out of her. +Dear wife of mine. Died of a broken heart, after I took it out of her. Don't tread on me! Dragon? What dragon? Drawn and quartered @@ -215,11 +215,11 @@ Evil I did dwell; lewd did I live Ex post fucto Excellent day to have a rotten day. Excuse me for not standing up. -Experience isn't everything. First, You've got to survive +Experience isn't everything. First, you've got to survive. First shalt thou pull out the Holy Pin For a Breath, I Tarry... For recreational use only. -For sale: One soul, slightly used. Asking for 3 wishes. +For sale: One soul, slightly used. Asking for 3 wishes. For some moments in life, there are no words. Forget Disney World, I'm going to Hell! Forget about the dog, Beware of my wife. @@ -234,16 +234,16 @@ Gone But Not Forgotten Gone Underground For Good Gone away owin' more than he could pay. Gone, but not forgiven -Got a life. Didn't know what to do with it. +Got a life. Didn't know what to do with it. Grave? But I was cremated! Greetings from Hell - Wish you were here. -HELP! It's dark in here... Oh, my eyes are closed - sorry +HELP! It's dark in here.... Oh, my eyes are closed - sorry Ha! I NEVER pay income tax! Have you come to raise the dead? Having a good time can be deadly. -Having a great time. Where am I exactly?? +Having a great time. Where am I exactly?? He died of the flux. -He died today... May we rest in peace! +He died today.... May we rest in peace! He got the upside, I got the downside. He lost his face when he was beheaded. He missed me first. @@ -251,7 +251,7 @@ He's not dead, he just smells that way. Help! I've fallen and I can't get up! Help, I can't wake up! Here lies Pinocchio -Here lies the body of John Round. Lost at sea and never found. +Here lies the body of John Round. Lost at sea and never found. Here there be dragons Hey, I didn't write this stuff! Hodie mihi, cras tibi @@ -261,14 +261,14 @@ Humpty Dumpty, a Bad Egg. He was pushed off the wall. I KNEW this would happen if I lived long enough. I TOLD you I was sick! I ain't broke but I am badly bent. -I ain't old. I'm chronologically advantaged. -I am NOT a vampire. I just like to bite..nibble, really! -I am here. Wish you were fine. +I ain't old. I'm chronologically advantaged. +I am NOT a vampire. I just like to bite..nibble, really! +I am here. Wish you were fine. I am not dead yet, but watch for further reports. I believe them bones are me. I broke his brain. I can feel it. My mind. It's going. I can feel it. -I can't go to Hell. They're afraid I'm gonna take over! +I can't go to Hell. They're afraid I'm gonna take over! I can't go to hell, they don't want me. I didn't believe in reincarnation the last time, either. I didn't mean it when I said 'Bite me' @@ -277,7 +277,7 @@ I disbelieved in reincarnation in my last life, too. I hacked myself to death I have all the time in the world I knew I'd find a use for this gravestone! -I know my mind. And it's around here someplace. +I know my mind. And it's around here someplace. I lied! I'll never be alright! I like it better in the dark. I like to be here when I can. @@ -285,15 +285,15 @@ I may rise but I refuse to shine. I never get any either. I said hit HIM with the fireball, not me! I told you I would never say goodbye. -I used to be amusing. Now I'm just disgusting. +I used to be amusing. Now I'm just disgusting. I used up all my sick days, so now I'm calling in dead. I was killed by -I was somebody. Who, is no business of yours. +I was somebody. Who, is no business of yours. I will not go quietly. I'd give you a piece of my mind... but I can't find it. I'd rather be breathing I'll be back! -I'll be mellow when I'm dead. For now, let's PARTY! +I'll be mellow when I'm dead. For now, let's PARTY! I'm doing this only for tax purposes. I'm not afraid of Death! What's he gonna do? Kill me? I'm not getting enough money, so I'm not going to engrave anything useful here. @@ -306,8 +306,8 @@ Ilene Toofar -- Fell off a cliff Is that all? Is there life before Death? Is this a joke, or a grave matter? -It happens sometimes. People just explode. -It must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays. +It happens sometimes. People just explode. +It must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays. It wasn't a fair fight It wasn't so easy. It's Loot, Pillage and THEN Burn... @@ -333,8 +333,8 @@ OK, here is a question: Where ARE your tanlines? Obesa Cantavit Oh! An untimely death. Oh, by the way, how was my funeral? -Oh, honey..I missed you! She said, and fired again. -Ok, so the light does go off. Now let me out of here. +"Oh, honey... I missed you!" she said, and fired again. +Ok, so the light does go off. Now let me out of here. One stone brain Ooh! Somebody STOP me! Oops! @@ -361,10 +361,10 @@ Sure, trust me, I'm a lawyer... Thank God I wore my corset, because I think my sides have split. That is all The Gods DO have a sense of humor: I'm living proof! -The frog's dead. He Kermitted suicide. +The frog's dead. He Kermitted suicide. This dungeon is a pushover This elevator doesn't go to Heaven -This gravestone is shareware. To register, please send me 10 zorkmids +This gravestone is shareware. To register, please send me 10 zorkmids This gravestone provided by The Yendorian Grave Services Inc. This is not an important part of my life. This one's on me. @@ -383,7 +383,7 @@ What can you say, Death's got appeal...! What health care? What pit? When the gods want to punish you, they answer your prayers. -Where e'er you be let your wind go free. Keeping it in was the death of me! +Where e'er you be let your wind go free. Keeping it in was the death of me! Where's my refund? Will let you know for sure in a day or two... Wizards are wimps @@ -393,4 +393,4 @@ Would you quit being evil over my shoulder? Ya really had me going baby, but now I'm gone. Yes Dear, just a few more minutes... You said it wasn't poisonous! -You set my heart aflame. You gave me heartburn. +You set my heart aflame. You gave me heartburn.