nethack/dat/tribute

# NetHack 3.6.0 tribute to:
#
#         Sir Terence David John "Terry" Pratchett
#              April 28, 1948 - March 12, 2015          
# ("or until the ripples he caused in the world die away...")
#
#
%section books
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%title The Colour of Magic  (2)
%passage 1
It has been remarked before that those who are sensitive to radiation in the
far octarine - the eighth colour, the pigment of the Imagination - can see
things that others cannot.

Thus it was that Rincewind, hurrying through the crowded, flare-lit, evening
bazarrs of Morpork with the Luggage trundling behind him, jostled a tall
figure, turned to deliver a few suitable curses, and beheld Death.

It had to be Death.  No-one else went around with empty eye sockets and, of
course, the scythe over one shoulder was another clue.

  [The Colour of Magic, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage 1
%passage 2
As he was drawn towards the Eye the terror-struck Rincewind raised the box
protectively, and at the same time heard the picture imp say, 'They're about
ripe now, can't hold them any longer.  Every-one smile, please.'

There was a -
- flash of light so white and so bright - 
- it didn't seem like light at all.

Bel-Shamharoth screamed, a sound that started in the far ultrasonic and
finished somewhere in Rincewind's bowels.  The tentacles went momentarily as
stiff as rods, hurling their various cargos around the room, before bunching
up protectively in front of the abused Eye.  The whole mass dropped into the
pit and a moment later the big slab was snatched up by several dozen tentacles
and slammed into place, leaving a number of thrashing limbs trapped around the
edge.

  [The Colour of Magic, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage 2
%e title
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%title The Light Fantastic (2)
%passage 1
'Cohen is my name, boy' Belthan's hands stopped moving.
'Cohen?' she said, 'Cohen the Barbarian?'
'The very shame.'
'Hang on, hang on,' said Rincewind, 'Cohen's a great big chap, neck like a bull,
got chest muscles like a sack of footballs.  I mean, he's the Disc's greatest
warrior, a legend in his own lifetime.  I remember my grandad telling me he saw
him ... my grandad telling me he ... my grandad ...'
He faltered under the gimlit gaze.
'Oh,' he said, 'Oh. Of course, Sorry.'
'Yesh,' said Cohen, and sighed, 'Thatsh right boy, I'm a lifetime in my own
legend.'

  [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage 1
%passage 2
Death sat at one side of a black baize table in the entre of the room, arguing
with Famine, War and Pestilence.  Twoflower was the only one to look up and
notice Rincewind.
'Hey, how did you get here?' he said.
'Well, some say that the creator took a handful - oh, I see, well, it's hard to
explain but I -'
'Have you got the Luggage?'
The wooden box pushed past Rincewind and settled down in front of its owner,
who opened its lid and rummaged around inside until he came up with a small,
leatherbound book which he handed to War, who was hammering the table with a
mailed fist.
'It's "Nosehinger on the Laws of Contract",' he said. 'It's quite good, there's
a lot in it about double finessing and how to -'
Death snatched the book with a bony hand anflipped through the pages, quite
oblivious to the presence of the two men.
'RIGHT,' he said, 'PESTILENCE, OPEN ANOTHER PACK OF CARDS. I'M GOING TO GET TO
THE BOTTOM OF THIS IF IT KILLS ME. FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING OF COURSE.'

  [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage 2
%e title
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%title Equal Rites (3)
%passage 1
...it is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that 
what you're attempting can't be done.

  [Equal Rites, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%passage 2
Million-to-one chances...crop up nine times out of ten.

  [Equal Rites, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%passage 3
Animal minds are simple, and therefore sharp. Animals never spend time
dividing experience into little bits and speculating about all the bits 
they've missed. The whole panoply of the universe has been neatly 
expressed to them as things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, 
and (d) rocks. This frees the mind from unnecessary thoughts and gives 
it a cutting edge where it matters. Your normal animal, in fact, never
tries to walk and chew gum at the same time. 

The average human, on the other hand, thinks about all sorts of things 
around the clock, on all sorts of levels, with interruptions from dozens
of biological calendars and timepieces. There's thoughts about to be said,
and private thoughts, and real thoughts, and thoughts about thoughts, and 
a whole gamut of subconscious thoughts. To a telepath the human head is 
a din. It is a railway terminus with all the Tannoys talking at once. 
It is a complete FM waveband- and some of those stations aren't reputable,
they're outlawed pirates on forbidden seas who play late-night records with 
limbic lyrics.

  [Equal Rites, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%e title
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%title Mort (1)
%passage 1
Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and hand ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote.

  [Mort, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%e title
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%title Sourcery (2)
%passage 1
And what would humans be without love?
RARE, said Death.

  [Sourcery, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%passage 2
They suffered from the terrible delusion that something could be done. 
They seemed prepared to make the world the way they wanted it or die in the attempt, 
and the trouble with dying in the attempt was that you died in the attempt.

  [Sourcery, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%e title
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%title Wyrd Sisters (1)
%passage 1

Destiny is important, see, but people go wrong when they think it controls them. It's the other way around.

  [Wyrd Sisters, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%e title
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%title Pyramids (2)
%passage 1
The trouble with life was that you didn't get a chance to practice before doing it for real.

  [Pyramids, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%passage 2
Mere animals couldn't possibly manage to act like this. You need to be a human being to be really stupid.

  [Pyramids, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%e title
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%title Guards! Guards! (2)
%passage 1
Never build a dungeon you wouldn't be happy to spend the night in yourself. The world would be a happier place if more people remembered that.

  [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%passage 2
These weren't encouraged in the city, since the heft and throw of a longbow's arrow could send it 
through an innocent bystander a hundred yards away instead of the innocent bystander at whom it was aimed.

  [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%e title
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%title Eric (2)
%passage 1
  No enemies had ever taken Ankh-Morpork. Well, /technically/ they had, quite often; the city welcomed free-spending barbarian invaders, but somehow the puzzled raiders always found, after a few days, that they didn't own their own horses any more, and within a couple of months they were just another minority group with its own graffiti and food shops.

    [Terry Pratchett, Eric]
%e passage
%passage 2
  Rincewind looked down at the broad steps they were climbing. They were something of a novelty; each one was built out of large stone letters. The one he was just stepping on to, for example, read: I Meant It For The Best.
  The next one was: I Thought You'd Like It.
  Eric was standing on: For The Sake Of The Children.
  'Weird, isn't it?' he said. 'Why do it like this?'
  'I think they're meant to be good intentions,' said Rincewind. This was a road to hell, and demons were, after all, traditionalists.

    [Terry Pratchett, Eric]
%e passage
%e title
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%title Moving Pictures (4)
%passage 1
  This is space. It's sometimes called the final frontier.
  (Except that of course you can't have a /final/ frontier, because there'd be nothing for it to be a frontier /to/, but as frontiers go, it's pretty penultimate...)

    [Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures]
%e passage
%passage 2
  By and large, the only skill the alchemists of Ankh-Morpork had discovered so far was the ability to turn gold into less gold.

    [Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures]
%e passage
%passage 3
  There was a dog sitting by his feet.
  It was small, bow-legged and wiry, and basically grey but with patches of brown, white, and black in outlying areas...
  It looked up slowly, and said 'Woof?'
  Victor poked an exploratory finger in his ear. It must have been a trick of an echo, or something. It wasn't that the dog had gone 'woof!', although that was practically unique in itself; most dogs in the universe /never/ went 'woof!', they had complicated barks like 'whuuugh!' and 'hwhoouf!'. No, it was that it hadn't in fact /barked/ at all. It had /said/ 'woof'.
  'Could have bin worse, mister. I could have said "miaow".'

    [Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures]
%e passage
%passage 4
  ''Twas beauty killed the beast,' said the Dean, who liked to say things like that.
  'No it wasn't,' said the Chair. 'It was it splatting into the ground like that.'

    [Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures]
%e passage
%e title
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%title Reaper Man (4)
%passage 1
No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away...

  [Reaper Man, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%passage 2
Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.

  [Reaper Man, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%passage 3
Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.

  [Reaper Man, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%passage 4
"That's not fair, you know. If we knew when we were going to die, people would lead better lives."

IF PEOPLE KNEW WHEN THEY WERE GOING TO DIE, I THINK THEY PROBABLY WOULDN'T LIVE AT ALL.

  [Reaper Man, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%e title
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%title Witches Abroad (1)
%passage 1
Vampires have risen from the dead, the grave and the crypt, but have never
managed it from the cat.

  [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%e title
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%title Small Gods (2)
%passage 1
He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.

  [Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%passage 2
Pets are always a great help in times of stress. And in times of starvation too, o'course.

  [Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%e title
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%title Lords and Ladies (1)
%passage 1
Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.
Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.
Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.
Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.
Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.
Elves are terrific. They beget terror.
The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, 
and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have 
changed their meaning.

No one ever said elves are nice.
Elves are bad.

  [Lords and Ladies, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%e title
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%title Men at Arms (1)
%passage 1
The maze was so small that people got lost looking for it.

  [Men at Arms, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%e title
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%title Soul Music (2)
%passage 1
But this didn't feel like magic. It felt a lot older than that. It felt like music

  [Soul Music, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%passage 2
"Yes," said the skull. "Quit while you're a head, that's what I say."

  [Soul Music, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%e title
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%title Interesting Times (2)
%passage 1
Whatever happens, they say afterwards, it must have been fate.
People are always a little confused about this, as they are in
the case of miracles. When someone is saved from certain death
by a strange concatenation of circumstances, they say that's a
miracle. But of course if someone is killed by a freak chain of
events -- the oil spilled just there, the safety fence broken 
just there -- that must also be a miracle. Just because it's 
not nice doesn't mean it's not miraculous.

  [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%passage 2
"Oh, no," said the Lecturer in Recent Runes, pushing his chair back. 
"Not that. That's meddling with things you don't understand."
"Well, we are wizards," said Ridcully. "We're supposed to meddle in 
things we don't understand. If we hung around waitin' till we 
understood things we'd never get anything done."

  [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%e title
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%title Maskerade (4)
%passage 1
  'Maybe you could... help us?'
  'What's wrong?'
  'It's my boy...'
  Granny opened the door further and saw the womand standing behind Mr. Slot. One look at her face was enough. There was a bundle in her arms.
  Granny stepped back. 'Bring him in and let me have a look at him.'
  She took the baby from the woman, sat down on the room's one chair, and pulled back the blanket.
  'Hmm,' said Granny, after a while.
  'There's a curse on this house, that's what it is,' said Slot. 'My best cow's been taken mortally sick, too.'
  'Oh? You have a cowshed?' siad Granny. 'Very good place for a sick-room, a cowshed. It's the warmth. You better show me were it is.'
  'You want to take the boy down there?'
  'Right now.'
  [...]
  'How many have you come for?'
  ONE.
  'The cow?'
  Death shook his head.
  'It could be the cow.'
  NO. THAT WOULD BE CHANGING HISTORY.
  'History is about things changing.'
  NO.
  Granny sat back.
  'Then I challenge you to a game. That's traditional. That's /allowed/.'
  Death was silent for a moment.
  THIS IS TRUE.
  'Good.'
  HOWEVER... YOU UNDERSTAND THAT TO WIN ALL YOU MUST GAMBLE ALL?
  'Double or quits? Yes, I know.'
  BUT NOT CHESS.
  'Can't abide chess.'
  OR CRIPPLE MR ONION. I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THE RULES.
  'Very well. How about one hand of poker? Five cards each, no draws? Sudden death, as they say.'
  Death thought about this, too.
  YOU KNOW THIS FAMILY?
  'No.'
  THEN WHY?
  'Are we talking or are we playing?'
  OH, VERY WELL.
  Granny looked at her cards, and threw them down.
  FOUR QUEENS. HMM. THAT /IS/ VERY HIGH.
  Death looked down at his cards, and then up into Granny's steady, blue-eyed gaze.
  Neither moved for some time.
  Then Death laid the hand on the table.
  I LOSE. ALL I HAVE IS FOUR ONES.

    [Maskerade, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%passage 2
    Ahahahahaha!
    Ahahahaha!
    Aahahaha!
    BEWARE!!!!!
    Yrs sincerely,
    The Opera Ghost
  'What sort of person,' said Salzella, 'sits down and /writes/ a maniacal laugh? And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head. Opera can do that to a man.'

    [Maskerade, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%passage 3
  Agnes had woken up one morning with the horrible realization that she'd been saddled with a lovely personality. It was the lack of choice that rankled. No one had asked her, before she was born, whether she wanted a lovely personality or whether she'd prefer, say, a miserable personality but a body that could take size 9 in dresses. Instead, people would take pains to tell her that beauty was only skin-deep, as if a man ever fell for an attractive pair of kidneys.

    [Maskerade, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%passage 4
  'And what can I get you, officers?' she said.
  'Officers? Us? What makes you think we're watchment?'
  'He's got a helmet on,' Nanny pointed out.
  'Milit'ry chic,' Nobby said. 'It's just a fashion accessory. Actually, we are gentlemen of means and have nothing to do with the City Watch whatsoever.'
  'Well, /gentlemen/, would you like some wine?'
  'Not while we on duty, t'anks', said the troll.

    [Maskerade, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%e title
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%title Feet of Clay (2)
%passage 1
Rumour is information distilled so finely that it can filter through anything. 
It does not need doors and windows -- sometimes it does not need people. 
It can exist free and wild, running from ear to ear without ever touching lips.

  [Feet of Clay, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%passage 2
It was hard enough to kill a vampire. You could stake them down and turn them into dust and ten years later someone drops a drop of blood in the wrong place and guess who's back? 
They returned more times than raw broccoli.

  [Feet of Clay, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%e title
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%title Hogfather (1)
%passage 1
Everything starts somewhere, though many physicists disagree. 
But people have always been dimly aware of the problem with the start of things. 
They wonder how the snowplough driver gets to work, or how the makers of dictionaries look up the spelling of words.

  [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%e title
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%title Jingo (1)
%passage 1
It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. 
If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? 
After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. 
No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. 
It's Them that do the bad things.

  [Jingo, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%e title
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%title The Last Continent (2)
%passage 1
PEOPLE'S WHOLE LIVES DO PASS IN FRONT OF THEIR EYES BEFORE THEY DIE. THE PROCESS IS CALLED 'LIVING'.

  [The Last Continent, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%passage 2
"When You're Up to Your Ass in Alligators, Today Is the First Day of the Rest of Your Life."

  [The Last Continent, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%e title
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%title Carpe Jugulum (1)
%passage 1
Perdita thought that not obeying rules was somehow cool. 
Agnes thought that rules like "Don't fall into this huge pit of spikes" 
were there for a purpose.

  [Carpe Jugulum, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%e title
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%title The Fifth Elephant (2)
%passage 1
You did something because it had always been done, 
and the explanation was "but we've always done it this way." 
A million dead people can't have been wrong, can they?

  [The Fifth Elephant, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%passage 2
He'd noticed that sex bore some resemblance to cookery:  It facinated people,
they sometimes bought books full of complicated recipes and interesting
pictures, and sometimes when they were really hungry they created vast
banquets in their imagination - but at the end of the day they'd settle quite
happily for egg and chips, if it was well done and maybe had a slice of tomato.

  [The Fifth Elephant, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%e title
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%title The Truth (2)
%passage 1
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those
who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is
half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty.

The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's
up with this glass?  Excuse me?  Excuse me?  This is may glass?  I don't think
so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!  Who's been pinching my beer?

  [The Truth, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage 1
%passage 2
The world is made up of four elements: Earth, Air, Fire and Water. 
This is a fact well known even to Corporal Nobbs. It's also wrong. 
There's a fifth element, and generally it's called Surprise.

  [The Truth, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage 2
%e title
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%title Thief of Time (1)
%passage 1
"No running with scythes!"

  [Thief of Time, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%e title
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#
# The Last Hero has never been released in the U.S. (or anywhere?) as a
# conventional mass market paperback.  The large (roughly 10" by 12")
# trade paperback contains many full page color illustrations and most
# text pages include decorations of varying degrees of elaborateness.
# The actual text is probably only novella length.
#
%title The Last Hero (7)
# pg. 41 (end of 1st paragraph)
%passage 1
Too many people, when listing all the perils to be found in the search
for lost treasure or ancient wisdom, had forgotten to put at the top of
the list 'the man who arrived just before you'.

  [The Last Hero, written by Terry Pratchett, illustrated by Paul Kidby]
%e passage
# pg. 5 (1st page of text, 4th & 5th paragraphs)
# second paragraph is a bit "on the nose" but is too good to leave out
%passage 2
The reason for the story was a mix of many things.  There was humanity's
desire to do forebidden deeds merely because they were forebidden.
There was its desire to find new horizon's and kill the people who live
beyond them.  There were the mysterious scrolls.  There was the cucumber.
But mostly there was the knowledge that one day, it would all be over.

'Ah, well, life goes on,' people say when someone dies.  But from the
point of view of the person who has just died, it doesn't.  It's the
universe that goes on.  Just as the deceased was getting the hang of
everything it's all whisked away, by illness or accident or, in one
case, a cucumber.  Why this has to be is one of the imponderables of
life, in the face of which people either start to pray...
or become really, really angry.

  [The Last Hero, written by Terry Pratchett, illustrated by Paul Kidby]
%e passage
# pg. 19 (bottom 20%)
%passage 3
'And they're /heroes/,' said Mr Betteridge of the Guild of Historians.

'And that means, exactly?' said the Patrician, sighing.

'They're good at doing what they want to do.'

'But they are also, as I understand it, very old men.'

'Very old /heroes/,' the historian corrected him.  'That just means
they've had a lot of /experience/ in doing what they want to do.

Lord Vetinari sighed again.  He did not like to live in a world of
heroes.  You had civilisation, such as it was, and you had heroes.

  [The Last Hero, written by Terry Pratchett, illustrated by Paul Kidby]
%e passage
# pg. 25 (2nd & 3rd fifths)
%passage 4
They were, all of them, old men.  Their background conversation was
a litany of complaints about feet, stomachs and backs.  They moved
slowly.  But they had a /look/ about them.  It was in their eyes.

Their eyes said that wherever it was, they had been there.  Whatever
it was, they had done it, sometimes more than once.  But they would
never, ever, /buy/ the T-shirt.  And they /did/ know the meaning of
the word 'fear'.  It was something that happened to other people.

  [The Last Hero, written by Terry Pratchett, illustrated by Paul Kidby]
%e passage
# pg. 97 (middle)
%passage 5
Captain Carrot saluted.  'Force is always the last resort, sir,' he said.

'I believe for Cohen it's the first choice,' said Lord Vetinari.

'He's not too bad if you don't come up behind him suddenly,' said Rincewind.

'Ah, there is the voice of our mission specialist,' said the Patrician.
'I just hope--  What is that on your badge, Captain Carrot?'

'Mission motto, sir,' said Carrot cheerfully.  '/Morituri Nolumus Mori/.
Rincewind suggested it.'

'I imagine he did,' said Lord Vetinari, observing the wizard coldly.
'And would you care to give us a colloquial translation, Mr Rincewind?'

'Er...' Rincewind hesitated, but there really was no escape.  'Er...
roughly speaking, it means, "We who are about to die don't want to", sir.'

  [The Last Hero, written by Terry Pratchett, illustrated by Paul Kidby]
%e passage
# pg. 125 (near top, then continued half way down)
%passage 6
'A good wizard, Rincewind,' said the Chair of Indefinite Studies.  'Not
particularly bright, but, frankly, I've never been quite happy with
intelligence.  An overrated talent, in my humble opinion.'

Ponder's ears went red.

[...]

'Mr Stibbons was right, was he?' said Ridcully, staring at Ponder.  'How
did you work that out so /exactly/, Mr Stibbons?'

'I, er...' Ponder felt the eyes of the wizards on him.  'I--' He stopped.
'It was a lucky guess, sir.'

The wizards relaxed.  They were extremely uneasy with cleverness, but
lucky guessing was what being a wizard was all about.

  [The Last Hero, written by Terry Pratchett, illustrated by Paul Kidby]
%e passage
# pg. 146 (top)
%passage 7
Evil Harry looked down and shuffled his feet, his face a battle between
pride and relief.

'Good of you to say that, lads,' he mumbled.  'I mean, you know, if it
was up to me I wouldn't do this to yer, but I got a reputation to--'

'I said we /understand/,' said Cohen.  'It's just like with us.  You see
a big hairy thing galloping towards you, you don't stop to think:  Is
this a rare species on the point of extinction?  No, you hack its head
off.  'Cos that's heroing, am I right?  An' /you/ see someone, you
betray 'em, quick as a wink.  'Cos that's villaining.'

  [The Last Hero, written by Terry Pratchett, illustrated by Paul Kidby]
%e passage
%e title
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%title The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents (1)
%passage 1
The important thing about adventures, thought Mr Bunnsy, was that they shouldn't be so long as to make you miss mealtimes.

  [The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%e title
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%title Night Watch (1)
%passage 1
When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend.

  [Night Watch, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%e title
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%title The Wee Free Men (1)
%passage 1
"Nac Mac Feegle! The Wee Free Men! Nae king! Nae quin! Nae laird! We willna be fooled again!"

  [The Wee Free Men, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%e title
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%title Monstrous Regiment (1)
%passage 1
'How can you protect yourself by carrying a sword if 
you don't know how to use it?'

'Not me, sir. Other people. They see the sword and 
don't attack me,' said Maladict patiently.

'Yes, but if they did, lad, you wouldn't be any good with it,' said the sergeant.

'No, sir. I'd probably settle for just ripping their heads off, sir. 
That's what I mean by protection, sir. Theirs, not mine. 
And I'd get hell from the League if I did that, sir'

  [Monstrous Regiment, by Terry Pratchett]
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%title A Hat Full of Sky (1)
%passage 1

Why do you go away?

So that you can come back. So that you can see the place 
you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people 
there see you differently, too. 

Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.

  [A Hat Full of Sky, by Terry Pratchett]
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%title Going Postal (1)
%passage 1

What was magic, after all, but something that happened at the 
snap of a finger?  Where was the magic in that?  It was mumbled 
words and weird drawings in old books and in the wrong hands it 
was dangerous as hell, but not one half as dangerous as it could 
be in the right hands.

  [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett]
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%title Thud! (1)
%passage 1
Why bother with a cunning plan when a simple one will do?

  [Thud!, by Terry Pratchett]
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%title Wintersmith (2)
%passage 1
That's Third Thoughts for you. 
When a huge rock is going to land on your head,
they're the thoughts that think: 
Is that an igneous rock, such as granite, or is it sandstone?

  [Wintersmith, by Terry Pratchett]
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%passage 2
They say that there can never be two snowflakes that are exactly alike, but has anyone checked lately?

  [Wintersmith, by Terry Pratchett]
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%title Making Money (3)
%passage 1
Making Money, by Terry Pratchett
  'I'm an Igor, thur. We don't athk quethtionth.'
  'Really? Why not?'
  'I don't know, thur. I didn't athk.'

    [Making Money, by Terry Pratchett]
%e pasasge
%passage 2
  The Watch armour fitted like a glove. He'd have preferred it to fit like a helmet and breastplate. It was common knowledge that the Watch's approach to uniforms was one-size-doesn't-exactly-fit-anybody, and that Commander Vimes disapproved of armour that didn't have that kicked-by-trolls look. He liked it to make it clear that it had been doing its job.

    [Making Money, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
%passage 3
  'The world is full of things worth more than gold. But we dig the damn stuff up and then bury it in a different hole. Where's the sense in that? What are we, magpies? Good heavens, /potatoes/ are worth more than gold!'
  'Surely not!'
  'If you were shipwrecked on a desert island, what would you prefer, a bag of potatoes or a bag of gold?'
  'Yes, but a desert island isn't Ankh-Morpork!'
  'And that proves gold is only valuable because we agree it is, right? It's just a dream. But a potato is always worth a potato, anywhere. A knob of butter and a pinch of salt and you've got a meal, /anywhere/. Bury gold in the ground and you'll be worrying about thieves for ever. Bury a potato and in due season you could be looking at a dividend of a thousand per cent.'
    [Making Money, by Terry Pratchett]
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%title Unseen Academicals (1)
%passage 1
Be one of the crowd? It went against everything a wizard stood for, 
and a wizard would not stand for anything if he could sit down for it, 
but even sitting down, you had to stand out.

  [Unseen Academicals, by Terry Pratchett]
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%title I Shall Wear Midnight (2)
%passage 1
It is important that we know where we come from, 
because if you do not know where you come from, 
then you don't know where you are, 
and if you don't know where you are, 
you don't know where you're going. 

And if you don't know where you're going, you're probably going wrong.

  [I Shall Wear Midnight, by Terry Pratchett]
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%passage 2
There have been times, lately, when I dearly wished that I 
could change the past. Well, I can't, but I can change the 
present, so that when it becomes the past it will turn out 
to be a past worth having.

  [I Shall Wear Midnight, by Terry Pratchett]
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%title Snuff (2)
%passage 1
They were crude weapons, to be sure, but a flint axe hitting your head does not need a degree in physics. 

  [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett]
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%passage 2
It is a strange thing to find yourself doing something you 
have apparently always wanted to do, when in fact up until 
that moment you had never known that you always wanted to do it...

  [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett]
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#
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%title Raising Steam (2)
%passage 1
Yesterday you never thought about it and after today you 
don't know what you would do without it. 

That was what the technology was doing. 
It was your slave but, in a sense, it might be the other way round.

  [Raising Steam, by Terry Pratchett]
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%passage 2
If you take enough precautions, you never need to take precautions.

  [Raising Steam, by Terry Pratchett]
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#-----------------------------------------------------
# Currently this section is not used. It is added
# to illustrate how these could be added and adapted
# should they be useful for something
#
%section Death
%title Death Quotes (2)
%passage 1
WHERE THE FIRST PRIMAL CELL WAS, THERE WAS I ALSO. WHERE MAN IS, THERE AM I.
WHEN THE LAST LIFE CRAWLS UNDER FREEZING STARS, THERE WILL I BE.
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%passage 2
I AM DEATH, NOT TAXES. *I* TURN UP ONLY ONCE.
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