Add lots of new random epitaphs

dat/epitaph.txt

@@ -30,3 +30,367 @@ I made an ash of myself
 Soon ripe. Soon rotten. Soon gone. But not forgotten.
 Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.
 Go away!
+Alas fair Death, 'twas missed in life - some peace and quiet from my wife
+Applaud, my friends, the comedy is finished.
+At last... a nice long sleep.
+Audi Partem Alteram
+Basil, assaulted by bears
+Burninated
+Confusion will be my epitaph
+Do not open until Christmas
+Don't be daft, they couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-
+Don't forget to stop and smell the roses
+Don't let this happen to you!
+Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori
+Et in Arcadia ego
+Fatty and skinny went to bed.  Fatty rolled over and skinny was dead.  Skinny Smith 1983-2000.
+Finally I am becoming stupider no more
+Follow me to hell
+...for famous men have the whole earth as their memorial
+Game over, man.  Game over.
+Go away!  I'm trying to take a nap in here!  Bloody adventurers...
+Gone fishin'
+Good night, sweet prince: And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!
+Go Team Ant!
+He farmed his way here
+Here lies a programmer.  Killed by a fatal error.
+Here lies Bob - decided to try an acid blob
+Here lies Dudley, killed by another %&#@#& newt.
+Here lies Gregg, choked on an egg
+Here lies Lies. It's True
+Here lies The Lady's maid, died of a Vorpal Blade
+Here lies the left foot of Jack, killed by a land mine.  Let us know if you find any more of him
+He waited too long
+I'd rather be sailing
+If a man's deeds do not outlive him, of what value is a mark in stone?
+I'm gonna make it!
+I took both pills!
+I will survive!
+Killed by a black dragon -- This grave is empty
+Let me out of here!
+Lookin' good, Medusa.
+Mrs. Smith, choked on an apple.  She left behind grieving husband, daughter, and granddaughter.
+Nobody believed her when she said her feet were killing her
+No!  I don't want to see my damn conduct!
+One corpse, sans head
+On the whole, I'd rather be in Minetown
+On vacation
+Oops.
+Out to Lunch
+SOLD
+Someone set us up the bomb!
+Take my stuff, I don't need it anymore
+Taking a year dead for tax reasons
+The reports of my demise are completely accurate
+(This space for sale)
+This was actually just a pit, but since there was a corpse, we filled it
+This way to the crypt
+Tu quoque, Brute?
+VACANCY
+Welcome!
+Wish you were here!
+Yea, it got me too
+You should see the other guy
+...and they made me engrave my own headstone too!
+...but the blood has stopped pumping and I am left to decay...
+<Expletive Deleted>
+A masochist is never satisfied.
+Ach, 'twas a wee monster in the loch
+Adapt.  Enjoy.  Survive.
+Adventure, hah!  Excitement, hah!
+After all, what are friends for...
+After this, nothing will shock me
+After three days, fish and guests stink
+Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill
+Ageing is not so bad.  The real killer is when you stop.
+Ain't I a stinker?
+Algernon
+All else failed...
+All hail RNG
+All right, we'll call it a draw!
+All's well that end well
+Alone at last!
+Always attack a floating eye from behind!
+Am I having fun yet?
+And I can still crawl, I'm not dead yet!
+And all I wanted was a free lunch
+And all of the signs were right there on your face
+And don't give me that innocent look either!
+And everyone died.  Boo hoo hoo.
+And here I go again...
+And nobody cares until somebody famous dies...
+And so it ends?
+And so... it begins.
+And sometimes the bear eats you.
+And then 'e nailed me 'ead to the floor!
+And they said it couldn't be done!
+And what do I look like?  The living?
+And yes, it was ALL his fault!
+And you said it was pretty here...
+Another lost soul
+Any day above ground is a good day!
+Any more of this and I'll die of a stroke before I'm 30.
+Anybody seen my head?
+Anyone for deathmatch?
+Anything for a change.
+Anything that kills you makes you ... well, dead
+Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.
+Are unicorns supposedly peaceful if you're a virgin?  Hah!
+Are we all being disintegrated, or is it just me?
+At least I'm good at something
+Attempted suicide
+Auri sacra fames
+Auribus teneo lupum
+Be prepared
+Beauty survives
+Been Here. Now Gone. Had a Good Time.
+Been through Hell, eh?  What did you bring me?
+Beg your pardon, didn't recognize you, I've changed a lot.
+Being dead builds character
+Beloved daughter, a treasure, buried here.
+Best friends come and go...  Mine just die.
+Better be dead than a fat slave
+Better luck next time
+Beware of Discordians bearing answers
+Beware the ...
+Bloody Hell...
+Bloody barbarians!
+Blown upward out of sight: He sought the leak by candlelight
+Brains... Brains... Fresh human brains...
+Buried the cat.  Took an hour.  Damn thing kept fighting.
+But I disarmed the trap!
+CONNECT 1964 - NO CARRIER 1994
+Call me if you need my phone number!
+Can YOU fly?
+Can you believe that thing is STILL moving?
+Can you come up with some better ending for this?
+Can you feel anything when I do this?
+Can you give me mouth to mouth, you just took my breath away.
+Can't I just have a LITTLE peril?
+Can't eat, can't sleep, had to bury the husband here.
+Can't you hit me?!
+Chaos, panic and disorder.  My work here is done.
+Check enclosed.
+Check this out!  It's my brain!
+Chivalry is only reasonably dead
+Coffin for sale.  Lifetime guarantee.
+Come Monday, I'll be all right.
+Come and see the violence inherent in the system
+Come back here!  I'll bite your bloody knees off!
+Commodore Business Machines, Inc.   Died for our sins.
+Complain to one who can help you
+Confess my sins to god?  Which one?
+Confusion will be my epitaph
+Cooties?  Ain't no cooties on me!
+Could somebody get this noose off me?
+Could you check again?  My name MUST be there.
+Could you please take a breath mint?
+Couldn't I be sedated for this?
+Courage is looking at your setbacks with serenity
+Cover me, I'm going in!
+Crash course in brain surgery
+Cross my fingers for me.
+Curse god and die
+Cut to fit
+De'Ath
+Dead Again?  Pardon me for not getting it right the first time!
+Dead and loving every moment!
+Dear wife of mine. Died of a broken heart, after I took it out of her.
+Don't tread on me!
+Dragon? What dragon?
+Drawn and quartered
+Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped.
+Eliza -- Was I really alive, or did I just think I was?
+Elvis
+Enter not into the path of the wicked
+Eris?  I don't need Eris
+Eternal Damnation, Come and stay a long while!
+Even The Dead pay taxes (and they aren't Grateful).
+Even a tomb stone will say good things when you're down!
+Ever notice that live is evil backwards?
+Every day is starting to look like Monday
+Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.
+Every survival kit should include a sense of humor
+Evil I did dwell;  lewd did I live
+Ex post fucto
+Excellent day to have a rotten day.
+Excuse me for not standing up.
+Experience isn't everything. First, You've got to survive
+First shalt thou pull out the Holy Pin
+For a Breath, I Tarry...
+For recreational use only.
+For sale: One soul, slightly used. Asking for 3 wishes.
+For some moments in life, there are no words.
+Forget Disney World, I'm going to Hell!
+Forget about the dog, Beware of my wife.
+Funeral - Real fun.
+Gawd, it's depressing in here, isn't it?
+Genuine Exploding Gravestone.  (c)Acme Gravestones Inc.
+Get back here!  I'm not finished yet...
+Go ahead, I dare you to!
+Go ahead, it's either you or him.
+Goldilocks -- This casket is just right
+Gone But Not Forgotten
+Gone Underground For Good
+Gone away owin' more than he could pay.
+Gone, but not forgiven
+Got a life. Didn't know what to do with it.
+Grave?  But I was cremated!
+Greetings from Hell - Wish you were here.
+HELP! It's dark in here... Oh, my eyes are closed - sorry
+Ha! I NEVER pay income tax!
+Have you come to raise the dead?
+Having a good time can be deadly.
+Having a great time. Where am I exactly??
+He died of the flux.
+He died today... May we rest in peace!
+He got the upside, I got the downside.
+He lost his face when he was beheaded.
+He missed me first.
+He's not dead, he just smells that way.
+Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!
+Help, I can't wake up!
+Here lies Pinocchio
+Here lies the body of John Round. Lost at sea and never found.
+Here there be dragons
+Hey, I didn't write this stuff!
+Hodie mihi, cras tibi
+Hold my calls
+Home Sweet Hell
+Humpty Dumpty, a Bad Egg.  He was pushed off the wall.
+I KNEW this would happen if I lived long enough.
+I TOLD you I was sick!
+I ain't broke but I am badly bent.
+I ain't old. I'm chronologically advantaged.
+I am NOT a vampire. I just like to bite..nibble, really!
+I am here. Wish you were fine.
+I am not dead yet, but watch for further reports.
+I believe them bones are me.
+I broke his brain.
+I can feel it.  My mind.  It's going.  I can feel it.
+I can't go to Hell. They're afraid I'm gonna take over!
+I can't go to hell, they don't want me.
+I didn't believe in reincarnation the last time, either.
+I didn't mean it when I said 'Bite me'
+I died laughing
+I disbelieved in reincarnation in my last life, too.
+I hacked myself to death
+I have all the time in the world
+I knew I'd find a use for this gravestone!
+I know my mind. And it's around here someplace.
+I lied!  I'll never be alright!
+I like it better in the dark.
+I like to be here when I can.
+I may rise but I refuse to shine.
+I never get any either.
+I said hit HIM with the fireball, not me!
+I told you I would never say goodbye.
+I used to be amusing. Now I'm just disgusting.
+I used up all my sick days, so now I'm calling in dead.
+I was killed by <illegible scrawl>
+I was somebody. Who, is no business of yours.
+I will not go quietly.
+I'd give you a piece of my mind... but I can't find it.
+I'd rather be breathing
+I'll be back!
+I'll be mellow when I'm dead. For now, let's PARTY!
+I'm doing this only for tax purposes.
+I'm not afraid of Death!  What's he gonna do? Kill me?
+I'm not getting enough money, so I'm not going to engrave anything useful here.
+I'm not saying anything.
+I'm weeth stupeed --->
+If you thought you had problems...
+Ignorance kills daily.
+Ignore me... I'm just here for my looks!
+Ilene Toofar -- Fell off a cliff
+Is that all?
+Is there life before Death?
+Is this a joke, or a grave matter?
+It happens sometimes. People just explode.
+It must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.
+It wasn't a fair fight
+It wasn't so easy.
+It's Loot, Pillage and THEN Burn...
+Just doing my job here
+Killed by diarrhea of mouth and constipation of brain.
+Let her RIP
+Let it be; I am dead.
+Let's play Hide the Corpse
+Life is NOT a dream
+Madge Ination -- It wasn't all in my head
+Meet me in Heaven
+Move on, there's nothing to see here.
+Mr. Flintstone -- Yabba-dabba-done
+My heart is not in this
+No one ever died from it
+No, you want room 12A, next door.
+Nope.  No trap on that chest.  I swear.
+Not again!
+Not every soil can bear all things
+Now I have a life
+Now I lay thee down to sleep... wanna join me?
+OK, here is a question: Where ARE your tanlines?
+Obesa Cantavit
+Oh! An untimely death.
+Oh, by the way, how was my funeral?
+Oh, honey..I missed you! She said, and fired again.
+Ok, so the light does go off. Now let me out of here.
+One stone brain
+Ooh! Somebody STOP me!
+Oops!
+Out for the night.  Leave a message.
+Ow!  Do that again!
+Pardon my dust.
+Part of me still works.
+Please, not in front of those orcs!
+Prepare to meet me in Heaven
+R2D2 -- Rest, Tin Piece
+Relax.  Nothing ever happens on the first level.
+Res omnia mea culpa est
+Rest In Pieces
+Rest, rest, perturbed spirit.
+Rip Torn
+She always said her feet were killing her but nobody believed her.
+She died of a chest cold.
+So let it be written, so let it be done!
+So then I says, How do I know you're the real angel of death?
+Some patients insist on dying.
+Some people have it dead easy, don't they?
+Some things are better left buried.
+Sure, trust me, I'm a lawyer...
+Thank God I wore my corset, because I think my sides have split.
+That is all
+The Gods DO have a sense of humor: I'm living proof!
+The frog's dead. He Kermitted suicide.
+This dungeon is a pushover
+This elevator doesn't go to Heaven
+This gravestone is shareware. To register, please send me 10 zorkmids
+This gravestone provided by The Yendorian Grave Services Inc.
+This is not an important part of my life.
+This one's on me.
+This side up
+Tim Burr -- Smashed by a tree
+Tone it down a bit, I'm trying to get some rest here.
+Virtually Alive
+We Will Meet Again.
+Weep not, he is at rest
+Welcome to Dante's.  What level please?
+Well, at least they listened to my sermon...
+Went to be an angel.
+What are you doing over there?
+What are you smiling at?
+What can you say, Death's got appeal...!
+What health care?
+What pit?
+When the gods want to punish you, they answer your prayers.
+Where e'er you be let your wind go free. Keeping it in was the death of me!
+Where's my refund?
+Will let you know for sure in a day or two...
+Wizards are wimps
+Worms at work, do not disturb!
+Would you mind moving a bit?  I'm short of breath down here.
+Would you quit being evil over my shoulder?
+Ya really had me going baby, but now I'm gone.
+Yes Dear, just a few more minutes...
+You said it wasn't poisonous!
+You set my heart aflame. You gave me heartburn.