tribute: The Light Fantastic

dat/tribute

@@ -329,43 +329,246 @@ the most courted and the most cursed.
 #
 #
 #
-%title The Light Fantastic (2)
+%title The Light Fantastic (12)
+# p. 92 (Signet edition)
 %passage 1
-'Cohen is my name, boy' Belthan's hands stopped moving.
-'Cohen?' she said, 'Cohen the Barbarian?'
+'Cohen ish my name, boy.'  Bethan's hands stopped moving.
+
+'Cohen?' she said.  'Cohen the Barbarian?'
+
 'The very shame.'
-'Hang on, hang on,' said Rincewind, 'Cohen's a great big chap, neck like a
+
+'Hang on, hang on,' said Rincewind.  'Cohen's a great big chap, neck like a
 bull, got chest muscles like a sack of footballs.  I mean, he's the Disc's
 greatest warrior, a legend in his own lifetime.  I remember my grandad
-telling me he saw him ... my grandad telling me he ... my grandad ...'
+telling me he saw him... my grandad telling me he... my grandad...'
+
 He faltered under the gimlit gaze.
-'Oh,' he said, 'Oh. Of course, Sorry.'
-'Yesh,' said Cohen, and sighed, 'Thatsh right boy, I'm a lifetime in my own
-legend.'
+
+'Oh,' he said.  'Oh.  Of course.  Sorry.'
+
+'Yesh,' said Cohen, and sighed.  'That's right boy.  I'm a lifetime in my
+own legend.'
 
   [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett]
 %e passage 1
+# p. 113 (Twoflower is teaching the Riders how to play bridge;
+#         in /The Light Fantastic/, Death's dialog uses quotation marks
+#         and full uppercase rather than the small capital letters used in
+#         the other books)
 %passage 2
-Death sat at one side of a black baize table in the entre of the room,
+Death sat at one side of a black baize table in the centre of the room,
 arguing with Famine, War and Pestilence.  Twoflower was the only one to
 look up and notice Rincewind.
+
 'Hey, how did you get here?' he said.
-'Well, some say that the creator took a handful - oh, I see, well, it's
-hard to explain but I -'
+
+'Well, some say that the creator took a handful--oh, I see, well, it's
+hard to explain but I--'
+
 'Have you got the Luggage?'
+
 The wooden box pushed past Rincewind and settled down in front of its
 owner, who opened its lid and rummaged around inside until he came up with
 a small, leatherbound book which he handed to War, who was hammering the
 table with a mailed fist.
-'It's "Nosehinger on the Laws of Contract",' he said. 'It's quite good,
-there's a lot in it about double finessing and how to -'
-Death snatched the book with a bony hand and flipped through the pages, 
+
+'It's "Nosehinger on the Laws of Contract",' he said.  'It's quite good,
+there's a lot in it about double finessing and how to--'
+
+Death snatched the book with a bony hand and flipped through the pages,
 quite oblivious to the presence of the two men.
-'RIGHT,' he said, 'PESTILENCE, OPEN ANOTHER PACK OF CARDS. I'M GOING TO GET
-TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS IF IT KILLS ME. FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING OF COURSE.'
+
+'RIGHT,' he said, 'PESTILENCE, OPEN ANOTHER PACK OF CARDS.  I'M GOING TO
+GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS IF IT KILLS ME.  FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING OF COURSE.'
 
   [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett]
 %e passage 2
+# p. 7 (passage starts mid-paragraph; the too-long-to-answer question is
+#       "Why have Rincewind and Twoflower fallen off the Disc's rim?",
+#       alluding to the conclusion of /The Colour of Magic/;
+#       in /Sourcery/ and /Interesting Times/ and probably others, the
+#       famous philosohper's name is spelled "Ly Tin Wheedle")
+%passage 3
+[...]  such questions take time and could be more trouble than they are
+worth.  For example, it is said that someone at a party once asked the
+famous philosopher Ly Tin Weedle "Why are you here?" and the reply took
+three years.
+
+  [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 8 ('libraries': plural is accurate)
+%passage 4
+The only furnishing in the room was a lectern of dark wood, carved into the
+shape of a bird--well, to be frank, into the shape of a winged thing it is
+probably best not to examine too closely--and on the lectern, fastened to
+it by a heavy chain covered in padlocks, was a book.
+
+A large, but not particularly impressive, book.  Other books in the
+University's libraries had covers inlaid with rare jewels and fascinating
+wood, or bound with dragon skin.  This one was just a rather tatty leather.
+It looked the sort of book described in library catalogues as "slightly
+foxed," although it would be more honest to admit that it looked as though
+it had been badgered, wolved and possibly beared as well.
+
+  [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# pp. 41-42
+%passage 5
+The barbarian chieftain said:  "What then are the greatest things that a
+man may find in life?"  This is the sort of thing you're supposed to say to
+maintain steppecred in barbarian circles.
+
+The man on his right thoughtfully drank his cocktail of mare's milk and
+snowcat blood, and spoke thus:  "The crisp horizon of the steppe, the wind
+in your hair, a fresh horse under you."
+
+The man on his left said:  "The cry of the white eagle in the heights, the
+fall of snow in the forest, a true arrow in your bow."
+
+The chieftain nodded and said:  "Surely it is the sight of your enemy
+slain, the humiliation of his tribe and the lamentation of his women."
+
+There was a general murmur of whiskery approval at this outrageous display.
+
+Then the chieftain turned respectfully to his guest, a small figure
+carefully warming his chilblains by the fire, and said:  "But our guest,
+whose name is legend, must tell us truly:  what is it that a man may call
+the greatest things in life?"
+
+The guest paused in the middle of another unsuccessful attempt to light up.
+
+"What shay?" he said, toothlessly.
+
+"I said:  what is it that a man may call the greatest things in life?"
+
+The warriors leaned closer.  This should be worth hearing.
+
+The guest thought long and hard and then said, with deliberation:  "Hot
+water, good dentishtry and shoft lavatory paper."
+
+  [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 48 (Hanzel and Gretel, obviously...)
+%passage 6
+"Have a bit more table," said Rincewind.
+
+"No thanks, I don't like marzipan," said Twoflower.  "Anyway, I'm sure it's
+not right to eat other people's furniture."
+
+"Don't worry," said Swires.  "The old witch hasn't been seen for years.
+They say she was done up good and proper by a couple of young tearaways."
+
+"Kids of today," said Rincewind.
+
+"I blame the parents," said Twoflower.
+
+  [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 103
+%passage 7
+It is a well known fact that warriors and wizards do not get along, because
+one side considers the other side to be a collection of bloodthirsty idiots
+who can't walk and think at the same time, while the other side is naturally
+suspicious of a body of men who mumble a lot and wear long dresses.  Oh, say
+the wizards, if we're going to be like that, then, what about all those
+studded collars and oiled muscles down at the Young Men's Pagan Association?
+To which the heroes reply, that's a pretty good allegation coming from a
+bunch of wimpsoes who won't go near a woman on account, can you believe it,
+of their mystical power being sort of drained out.  Right, say the wizards,
+that just about does it, you and your leather posing pouches.  Oh yeah, say
+the heroes, why don't you...
+
+And so on.  This sort of thing has been going on for centuries, and caused
+a number of major battles which have left large tracts of land uninhabitable
+because of magical harmonics.
+
+  [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 128
+%passage 8
+"He'sh mad?"
+
+"Sort of mad.  But mad with lots of money."
+
+"Ah, then he can't be mad.  I've been around; if a man hash lotsh of money
+he'sh just ecshentric."
+
+  [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 182 (Cohen is now wearing dentures with teeth made from diamonds)
+%passage 9
+Cohen tapped him on the shoulder.  The man looked around irritably.
+
+"What do you want, grandad?" he snarled.
+
+Cohen paused until he had the man's full attention, and then he smiled.  It
+was a slow, lazy smile, unveiling about 300 carats of mouth jewelry that
+seemed to light up the room.
+
+"I will count to three," he said, in a friendly tone of voice.  "One, Two."
+His bony knee came up in the man's groin with a satisfyingly meaty noise,
+and he half-turned to bring the full force of an elbow into the kidneys as
+the leader collapsed around his private universe of pain.
+
+"Three," to told the ball of agony on the floor.  Cohen had heard of
+fighting fair, and had long ago decided he wanted no part of it.
+
+  [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# pp. 193-194 (this passage is the data.base quote for shopkeeper)
+%passage 10
+There have been three general theories put forward to explain the
+phenomenon of the wandering shops, or as they are generically known,
+/tabernae vagantes/.
+
+The first postulates that many thousands of years ago there evolved
+somewhere in the multiverse a race whose single talent was to buy cheap
+and sell dear.  Soon they controlled a vast galactic empire or, as they put
+it, Emporium, and the more advanced members of the species found a way to
+equip their very shops with unique propulsion units that could break the
+dark walls of space itself and open up vast new markets.  And long after
+the worlds of the Emporium perished in the heat death of their particular
+universe, after one last defiant fire sale, the wandering starshops still
+ply their trade, eating their way through the pages of space-time like a
+worm through a three-volume novel.
+
+The second is that they are the creation of a sympathetic Fate, charged
+with the role of supplying exactly the right thing at the right time.
+
+The third is that they are simply a very clever way of getting around the
+various Sunday Closing acts.
+
+All these theories, diverse as they are, have two things in common.  They
+explain the observed facts, and they are completely and utterly wrong.
+
+  [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 205
+%passage 11
+"Where to they all come from?" said Twoflower, as they fled yet another mob.
+
+"Inside every sane person there's a madman struggling to get out," said the
+shopkeeper,  "That's what I've always thought.  No one goes mad quicker than
+a totally sane person."
+
+  [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# pp. 229-230 ('grey': British spelling is accurate)
+%passage 12
+Trymon was looking at him.  /Something/ was looking at him.  And still the
+others hadn't noticed.  Could he even explain it?  Trymon looked the same
+as he had always done, except for the eyes, and a slight sheen to his skin.
+
+Rincewind stared, and knew that there were far worse things than Evil.  All
+the demons in Hell would torture your very soul, but that was precisely
+because they value souls very highly; evil would always try to steal the
+universe, but at least it considered the universe worth stealing.  But the
+grey world behind those empty eyes would trample and destroy without even
+according its victims the dignity of hatred.  It wouldn't even notice them.
+
+  [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
 %e title
 #
 #
@@ -6046,6 +6249,10 @@ SHALL WE GO?
 # p. 251
 %passage 13
 I HAVE COME FOR THEE.
+# The Light Fantastic, p. 52 (Signet edition; quote has quotation marks but
+#                             including them here wouldn't fit with the rest)
+%passage 14
+DARK IN HERE, ISN'T IT?
 %e title
 %e section
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