397 lines
14 KiB
Plaintext
397 lines
14 KiB
Plaintext
# Epitaphs for random headstones
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Rest in peace
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R.I.P.
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Rest In Pieces
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Note -- there are NO valuable items in this grave
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1994-1995. The Longest-Lived Hacker Ever
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The Grave of the Unknown Hacker
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We weren't sure who this was, but we buried him here anyway
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Sparky -- he was a very good dog
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Beware of Electric Third Rail
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Made in Taiwan
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Og friend. Og good dude. Og died. Og now food
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Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice
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Look out below!
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Please don't dig me up. I'm perfectly happy down here. -- Resident
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Postman, please note forwarding address: Gehennom, Asmodeus's Fortress, fifth lemure on the left
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Mary had a little lamb/Its fleece was white as snow/When Mary was in trouble/The lamb was first to go
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Be careful, or this could happen to you!
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Soon you'll join this fellow in hell! -- the Wizard of Yendor
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Caution! This grave contains toxic waste
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Sum quod eris
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Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go
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Here lies Ezekiel, age 102. The good die young.
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Here lies my wife: Here let her lie! Now she's at rest and so am I.
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Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon me for not rising.
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He always lied while on the earth and now he's lying in it
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I made an ash of myself
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Soon ripe. Soon rotten. Soon gone. But not forgotten.
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Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.
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Go away!
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Alas fair Death, 'twas missed in life - some peace and quiet from my wife
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Applaud, my friends, the comedy is finished.
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At last... a nice long sleep.
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Audi Partem Alteram
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Basil, assaulted by bears
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Burninated
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Confusion will be my epitaph
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Do not open until Christmas
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Don't be daft, they couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-
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Don't forget to stop and smell the roses
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Don't let this happen to you!
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Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori
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Et in Arcadia ego
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Fatty and skinny went to bed. Fatty rolled over and skinny was dead. Skinny Smith 1983-2000.
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Finally I am becoming stupider no more
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Follow me to hell
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...for famous men have the whole earth as their memorial
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Game over, man. Game over.
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Go away! I'm trying to take a nap in here! Bloody adventurers...
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Gone fishin'
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Good night, sweet prince: And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!
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Go Team Ant!
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He farmed his way here
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Here lies a programmer. Killed by a fatal error.
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Here lies Bob - decided to try an acid blob
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Here lies Dudley, killed by another %&#@#& newt.
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Here lies Gregg, choked on an egg
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Here lies Lies. It's True
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Here lies The Lady's maid, died of a Vorpal Blade
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Here lies the left foot of Jack, killed by a land mine. Let us know if you find any more of him
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He waited too long
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I'd rather be sailing
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If a man's deeds do not outlive him, of what value is a mark in stone?
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I'm gonna make it!
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I took both pills!
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I will survive!
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Killed by a black dragon -- This grave is empty
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Let me out of here!
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Lookin' good, Medusa.
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Mrs. Smith, choked on an apple. She left behind grieving husband, daughter, and granddaughter.
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Nobody believed her when she said her feet were killing her
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No! I don't want to see my damn conduct!
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One corpse, sans head
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On the whole, I'd rather be in Minetown
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On vacation
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Oops.
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Out to Lunch
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SOLD
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Someone set us up the bomb!
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Take my stuff, I don't need it anymore
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Taking a year dead for tax reasons
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The reports of my demise are completely accurate
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(This space for sale)
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This was actually just a pit, but since there was a corpse, we filled it
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This way to the crypt
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Tu quoque, Brute?
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VACANCY
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Welcome!
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Wish you were here!
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Yea, it got me too
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You should see the other guy
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...and they made me engrave my own headstone too!
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...but the blood has stopped pumping and I am left to decay...
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<Expletive Deleted>
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A masochist is never satisfied.
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Ach, 'twas a wee monster in the loch
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Adapt. Enjoy. Survive.
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Adventure, hah! Excitement, hah!
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After all, what are friends for...
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After this, nothing will shock me
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After three days, fish and guests stink
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Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill
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Ageing is not so bad. The real killer is when you stop.
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Ain't I a stinker?
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Algernon
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All else failed...
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All hail RNG
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All right, we'll call it a draw!
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All's well that end well
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Alone at last!
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Always attack a floating eye from behind!
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Am I having fun yet?
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And I can still crawl, I'm not dead yet!
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And all I wanted was a free lunch
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And all of the signs were right there on your face
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And don't give me that innocent look either!
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And everyone died. Boo hoo hoo.
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And here I go again...
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And nobody cares until somebody famous dies...
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And so it ends?
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And so... it begins.
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And sometimes the bear eats you.
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And then 'e nailed me 'ead to the floor!
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And they said it couldn't be done!
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And what do I look like? The living?
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And yes, it was ALL his fault!
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And you said it was pretty here...
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Another lost soul
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Any day above ground is a good day!
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Any more of this and I'll die of a stroke before I'm 30.
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Anybody seen my head?
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Anyone for deathmatch?
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Anything for a change.
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Anything that kills you makes you ... well, dead
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Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.
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Are unicorns supposedly peaceful if you're a virgin? Hah!
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Are we all being disintegrated, or is it just me?
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At least I'm good at something
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Attempted suicide
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Auri sacra fames
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Auribus teneo lupum
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Be prepared
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Beauty survives
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Been Here. Now Gone. Had a Good Time.
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Been through Hell, eh? What did you bring me?
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Beg your pardon, didn't recognize you, I've changed a lot.
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Being dead builds character
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Beloved daughter, a treasure, buried here.
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Best friends come and go... Mine just die.
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Better be dead than a fat slave
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Better luck next time
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Beware of Discordians bearing answers
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Beware the ...
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Bloody Hell...
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Bloody barbarians!
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Blown upward out of sight: He sought the leak by candlelight
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Brains... Brains... Fresh human brains...
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Buried the cat. Took an hour. Damn thing kept fighting.
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But I disarmed the trap!
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CONNECT 1964 - NO CARRIER 1994
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Call me if you need my phone number!
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Can YOU fly?
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Can you believe that thing is STILL moving?
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Can you come up with some better ending for this?
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Can you feel anything when I do this?
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Can you give me mouth to mouth, you just took my breath away.
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Can't I just have a LITTLE peril?
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Can't eat, can't sleep, had to bury the husband here.
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Can't you hit me?!
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Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done.
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Check enclosed.
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Check this out! It's my brain!
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Chivalry is only reasonably dead
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Coffin for sale. Lifetime guarantee.
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Come Monday, I'll be all right.
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Come and see the violence inherent in the system
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Come back here! I'll bite your bloody knees off!
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Commodore Business Machines, Inc. Died for our sins.
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Complain to one who can help you
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Confess my sins to god? Which one?
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Confusion will be my epitaph
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Cooties? Ain't no cooties on me!
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Could somebody get this noose off me?
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Could you check again? My name MUST be there.
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Could you please take a breath mint?
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Couldn't I be sedated for this?
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Courage is looking at your setbacks with serenity
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Cover me, I'm going in!
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Crash course in brain surgery
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Cross my fingers for me.
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Curse god and die
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Cut to fit
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De'Ath
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Dead Again? Pardon me for not getting it right the first time!
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Dead and loving every moment!
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Dear wife of mine. Died of a broken heart, after I took it out of her.
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Don't tread on me!
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Dragon? What dragon?
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Drawn and quartered
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Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped.
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Eliza -- Was I really alive, or did I just think I was?
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Elvis
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Enter not into the path of the wicked
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Eris? I don't need Eris
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Eternal Damnation, Come and stay a long while!
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Even The Dead pay taxes (and they aren't Grateful).
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Even a tomb stone will say good things when you're down!
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Ever notice that live is evil backwards?
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Every day is starting to look like Monday
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Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.
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Every survival kit should include a sense of humor
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Evil I did dwell; lewd did I live
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Ex post fucto
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Excellent day to have a rotten day.
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Excuse me for not standing up.
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Experience isn't everything. First, You've got to survive
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First shalt thou pull out the Holy Pin
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For a Breath, I Tarry...
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For recreational use only.
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For sale: One soul, slightly used. Asking for 3 wishes.
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For some moments in life, there are no words.
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Forget Disney World, I'm going to Hell!
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Forget about the dog, Beware of my wife.
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Funeral - Real fun.
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Gawd, it's depressing in here, isn't it?
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Genuine Exploding Gravestone. (c)Acme Gravestones Inc.
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Get back here! I'm not finished yet...
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Go ahead, I dare you to!
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Go ahead, it's either you or him.
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Goldilocks -- This casket is just right
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Gone But Not Forgotten
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Gone Underground For Good
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Gone away owin' more than he could pay.
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Gone, but not forgiven
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Got a life. Didn't know what to do with it.
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Grave? But I was cremated!
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Greetings from Hell - Wish you were here.
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HELP! It's dark in here... Oh, my eyes are closed - sorry
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Ha! I NEVER pay income tax!
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Have you come to raise the dead?
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Having a good time can be deadly.
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Having a great time. Where am I exactly??
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He died of the flux.
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He died today... May we rest in peace!
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He got the upside, I got the downside.
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He lost his face when he was beheaded.
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He missed me first.
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He's not dead, he just smells that way.
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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!
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Help, I can't wake up!
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Here lies Pinocchio
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Here lies the body of John Round. Lost at sea and never found.
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Here there be dragons
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Hey, I didn't write this stuff!
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Hodie mihi, cras tibi
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Hold my calls
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Home Sweet Hell
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Humpty Dumpty, a Bad Egg. He was pushed off the wall.
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I KNEW this would happen if I lived long enough.
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I TOLD you I was sick!
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I ain't broke but I am badly bent.
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I ain't old. I'm chronologically advantaged.
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I am NOT a vampire. I just like to bite..nibble, really!
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I am here. Wish you were fine.
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I am not dead yet, but watch for further reports.
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I believe them bones are me.
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I broke his brain.
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I can feel it. My mind. It's going. I can feel it.
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I can't go to Hell. They're afraid I'm gonna take over!
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I can't go to hell, they don't want me.
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I didn't believe in reincarnation the last time, either.
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I didn't mean it when I said 'Bite me'
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I died laughing
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I disbelieved in reincarnation in my last life, too.
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I hacked myself to death
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I have all the time in the world
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I knew I'd find a use for this gravestone!
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I know my mind. And it's around here someplace.
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I lied! I'll never be alright!
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I like it better in the dark.
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I like to be here when I can.
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I may rise but I refuse to shine.
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I never get any either.
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I said hit HIM with the fireball, not me!
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I told you I would never say goodbye.
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I used to be amusing. Now I'm just disgusting.
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I used up all my sick days, so now I'm calling in dead.
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I was killed by <illegible scrawl>
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I was somebody. Who, is no business of yours.
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I will not go quietly.
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I'd give you a piece of my mind... but I can't find it.
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I'd rather be breathing
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I'll be back!
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I'll be mellow when I'm dead. For now, let's PARTY!
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I'm doing this only for tax purposes.
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I'm not afraid of Death! What's he gonna do? Kill me?
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I'm not getting enough money, so I'm not going to engrave anything useful here.
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I'm not saying anything.
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I'm weeth stupeed --->
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If you thought you had problems...
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Ignorance kills daily.
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Ignore me... I'm just here for my looks!
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Ilene Toofar -- Fell off a cliff
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Is that all?
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Is there life before Death?
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Is this a joke, or a grave matter?
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It happens sometimes. People just explode.
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It must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.
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It wasn't a fair fight
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It wasn't so easy.
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It's Loot, Pillage and THEN Burn...
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Just doing my job here
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Killed by diarrhea of mouth and constipation of brain.
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Let her RIP
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Let it be; I am dead.
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Let's play Hide the Corpse
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Life is NOT a dream
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Madge Ination -- It wasn't all in my head
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Meet me in Heaven
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Move on, there's nothing to see here.
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Mr. Flintstone -- Yabba-dabba-done
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My heart is not in this
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No one ever died from it
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No, you want room 12A, next door.
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Nope. No trap on that chest. I swear.
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Not again!
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Not every soil can bear all things
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Now I have a life
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Now I lay thee down to sleep... wanna join me?
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OK, here is a question: Where ARE your tanlines?
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Obesa Cantavit
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Oh! An untimely death.
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Oh, by the way, how was my funeral?
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Oh, honey..I missed you! She said, and fired again.
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Ok, so the light does go off. Now let me out of here.
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One stone brain
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Ooh! Somebody STOP me!
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Oops!
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Out for the night. Leave a message.
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Ow! Do that again!
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Pardon my dust.
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Part of me still works.
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Please, not in front of those orcs!
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Prepare to meet me in Heaven
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R2D2 -- Rest, Tin Piece
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Relax. Nothing ever happens on the first level.
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Res omnia mea culpa est
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Rest In Pieces
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Rest, rest, perturbed spirit.
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Rip Torn
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She always said her feet were killing her but nobody believed her.
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She died of a chest cold.
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So let it be written, so let it be done!
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So then I says, How do I know you're the real angel of death?
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Some patients insist on dying.
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Some people have it dead easy, don't they?
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Some things are better left buried.
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Sure, trust me, I'm a lawyer...
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Thank God I wore my corset, because I think my sides have split.
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That is all
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The Gods DO have a sense of humor: I'm living proof!
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The frog's dead. He Kermitted suicide.
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This dungeon is a pushover
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This elevator doesn't go to Heaven
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This gravestone is shareware. To register, please send me 10 zorkmids
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This gravestone provided by The Yendorian Grave Services Inc.
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This is not an important part of my life.
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This one's on me.
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This side up
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Tim Burr -- Smashed by a tree
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Tone it down a bit, I'm trying to get some rest here.
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Virtually Alive
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We Will Meet Again.
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Weep not, he is at rest
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Welcome to Dante's. What level please?
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Well, at least they listened to my sermon...
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Went to be an angel.
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What are you doing over there?
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What are you smiling at?
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What can you say, Death's got appeal...!
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What health care?
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What pit?
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When the gods want to punish you, they answer your prayers.
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Where e'er you be let your wind go free. Keeping it in was the death of me!
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Where's my refund?
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Will let you know for sure in a day or two...
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Wizards are wimps
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Worms at work, do not disturb!
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Would you mind moving a bit? I'm short of breath down here.
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Would you quit being evil over my shoulder?
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Ya really had me going baby, but now I'm gone.
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Yes Dear, just a few more minutes...
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You said it wasn't poisonous!
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You set my heart aflame. You gave me heartburn.
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